Ahnii!

Notice the exclamation point? The Ojibwe greeting for “Hello”? Twenty years ago I would have slunk into a corner and stayed silent, let alone shouted an “Indian” greeting at you.

Twenty years ago I felt like an imposter in the eyes of my co-workers. Meanwhile, I was actually kicking ass.

Where I Come From

I’m an Anishnawbek web developer who grew up on a Northern Ontario reservation as defined by the Canadian Indian Act. In Kindergarten I went to an Indian Day School where the purpose was to Anglicize us into conformity. By Grade 1 I was able to attend a school operated by people of my community rather than people appointed by Government or Church.

It was not until 1985 that I was “enfranchised” — a legal term meaning you were supposed to consent to abandon your Indigenous identity and communal society in order to merge with the non-Aboriginal majority.

What That Has to Do with Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome is the experience of feeling like a phony — you feel as though at any moment you are going to be found out as a fraud, like you do not belong where you are, and you only got there through luck. It can affect anyone no matter their social status, work background, skill level, or degree of expertise.

Growing up on a reservation surrounded by towns where the local bar had an “Indian” side and a “White” side, it gets confusing to be a minority in your own land. That confusion does not stop when you open a code editor.

The Developer Connection

My life experience goes hand in hand with my feelings of imposter syndrome in web development. It has been a struggle of decades to accept that I am not a phoney human, developer, or any other label I care to attach to myself.

My past was confusing, challenging, heartbreaking, and sometimes tragic. But I had a loving, compassionate, and nurturing family to help get through.

Ever since IRC, I have always felt the online open-source community to be the nurturing family of my professional life. I have come to rely on it and you have all helped me find my confidence as a developer.

I have worth. I am a great web developer.

Now What?

This is an open-source world and every company is a software company.

You are worth it. So do the work.

Baamaapii